you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
