In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I wish I only lived at night.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
