I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
