How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Randomize
