yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize