sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
