Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Randomize
