he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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