she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
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