So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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