is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I want to have your abortion
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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