I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I could fuck to npr.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
