it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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