I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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