Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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