what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
