I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
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