just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
