Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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