okay pat passed out under dana's car
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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