a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
