seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
