You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
