Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize