This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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