Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
