Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
