So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
