Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize