He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
