So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
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