New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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