Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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