How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
