Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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