No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
