don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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