My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
