Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Randomize
