like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
