plz talk dirty to me
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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