You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
