I think scott just propositioned me for sex
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
