I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
