so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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