What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
