MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
i now understand why vodka
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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