I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
