She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
