After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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