just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I puked a lego.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize