i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
