I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize