just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
