Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
