A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
