And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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