bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
