I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
