and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
