He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
