dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
it's like heaven, but drunker
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
