and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize