Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize
