Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
