How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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