Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
