i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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