no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
