girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Randomize
