Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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