That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
