Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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