I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
