Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize